Q. Why write a blog about being middle-aged and autistic?
A. Because I have a chronic health condition and I’m sat on my arse a lot. I might as well give my brain a workout while my body slowly disintegrates.
Q. There are plenty of blogs written by vibrant young auties – won’t your oldies blog be a total bore fest?
A. If you’re under the age of 35 – probably – but even then I’d suggest that people give it the once over to see what’s coming to them – especially autistic women. Call it homework.
Q. What’s your blogging style?
A. No filters. Occasionally sweary. 3 billion edits before publishing posts.
Q. How old are you?
A. Chronological age – 49. (Biological age – 149)
Q. What age were you diagnosed?
Q. Do you wish you’d been diagnosed earlier?
A. Obvs. Duh and all other manner of young-speak. Being an undiagnosed autistic kid in the 70s and 80s was EPICALLY CRAP. There was no such thing as ‘being on the spectrum’. You were either autistic (and locked up somewhere) or you floundered about in school being bullied or branded as a troublemaker – next stop borstal. Either way – it was shit.
Q. Who is your autistic idol?
A. Richey Edwards (Manic Street Preachers) – said to have undiagnosed Aspergers. Went missing in 95. Declared dead in 2008. Now living in a Kibbutz in Israel according to a hairdresser in Cardiff.
Dead or alive – the bloke’s a legend.
Q. What advice would you give to any self-hating young autistic peeps who happen to stumble upon your blog?
A. Most NTs wish they could be different – green grass and all that. You’re autistic and failing a brain transplant there’s nothing you can do about it. Try not to assume that life would be a joy fest if you were NT. Why should it be? NT people get depressed and anxious too! Have you ever seen Eastenders? Or Towie? They’re always crying! Yes, life is hard for autistic people but it is possible to be autistic and happy (ish) with a bit of graft.
Q. Self-diagnosis. Valid or not?
A. Valid. You’re either autistic or you’re not. Paperwork just validates what most of us already know. Contrary to what Dark Web Dave from Twitter says – the consensus within the autistic community is not “Get diagnosed or shut the f**k up”!
Q. Are you a maths genuis, gaming wizard or any other autistic stereotype?
A. I’m terrible at maths – I’m stuffed once I run out of fingers (and toes) and I hate gaming. I bake a nice scone though. Does that count?
Q. What would you say to your 16 year old self?
A. Congrats on survivng school. Next 33 years? Same shit. Different park. P.S Your nose is fine. P.P S That boy with the mullet who’s bullied you for the last 4 years? Totally bald by the time he’s 30.
Q. Favourite inspirational quote?
A. Be you, not them.
Well thanks for that Middle-Aged Autie. It’s been nice getting to know you a little bit. We look forward to your future posts. Don’t bore us yeah?
I’ll do my best ffs!
Note: I have recently been psychologically assessed and pose no danger to myself or others. I’m quite sane – even though I am having a conversation with myself.